My brother and I are two years apart in age and were one year apart in school (I started early as my birthday landed right on the cut off date for which year I should start school, luckily I was smart and me being a year younger than everyone else in my class didn't stop me from learning at the same pace as everyone else).
When my brother and I were younger we would spend hours together playing Barbies and X-men, building forts with chairs and blankets, and roughhousing in the backyard. As time went on my brother started spending more time by himself playing games and I moved on to spending more time reading. We still did things together but just not as often as we used to. My brother liked to invite his friends over and then bring me in to play video games with them (so they had someone to lord their winning streak over) and would inevitably be pissed when I would hand them their butts (random button pushing for the win!). Eventually they stopped asking me to play because they didn't like losing to a girl. Around this time is when we got a used computer from my uncle and I discovered the world of paint, solitaire, and eventually the computer game Lemmings.
Around the time my brother was graduating high school and moving away to college he changed dramatically. He started acting like he was better than everyone else and always thought he was the smartest person in the room. His friends were the same exact way. He had a few friends that weren't and they were always nice to me, but the ones he hung out with most of the time were total dicks and always wanted to lord their intelligence over everyone else. Sadly my brother still does this today even though he is no longer friends with those guys.
My brother is married to a woman no one in my family can stand (I call her The Bitch). The first time I met The Bitch I was out shopping with my parents and my brother just happened to be in the same store. My parents warned me he was with her (I didn't even know he was dating) and that she was pregnant (not my brothers kid she was 8 months pregnant when they met). I figured I just would stay away from them and not say anything, but my brother saw me by myself in the store and brought her over to me to introduce me. I tried to be nice to her but from the moment she opened her mouth she tried the "I am so cute" sickly sweet thing that grated on my nerves. She was far from cute, but she had the attitude that she was the most adorable thing in the world and everyone should love her. I ended the conversation quickly and walked away hoping their relationship would end quickly. Sadly it didn't. From then on we decided we didn't like each other and she has found ways of being a pain in my ass ever since. For example she was supposed to have her baby at the end of the month and the doctors told her she could schedule the c section for whenever she wanted. Well my birthday was in the middle of the month that her child was due. She found out when my birthday was and scheduled her c section for the day before my birthday (because scheduling it for my birthday would have been too obvious). The doctors told her to wait until the end of the month and schedule it for then that way it would be closer to the 9 month mark, but she insisted that it be that day. From then on she has done everything in her power to make sure that my parents forget my birthday, on the kids first birthday she decided to have his birthday party on his actual birthday and then to take him on a trip to the toy store and dinner out with my parents on my birthday (essentially making it impossible for my parents to spend my birthday with me). This year she planned his birthday party at chuck e cheese and told my parents the only day they had open was my on my birthday, so once again my parents weren't able to spend any time with me on my birthday. I was not invited to participate in either birthday celebration.
The Bitch is one of those girls who thinks they should be a trophy wife and have everything given to them on a golden platter, when in reality the only trophy she would be would be last place. She is the kind of girl that has no idea how money works, she just knows that my brother brings in an income and that whatever she wants she just takes the money and uses it. She doesn't care if bills don't get paid or that there is no food around the house for them and the kid, as long as she has money to spend that's all that matters to her. If she is out with my parents she will buy the most expensive item on the menu and then complain she doesn't like what she ordered, my father has started to refuse to pay for her meals or has started asking for a to go box and taking the food home with him, both of which piss her off.
This is how stupid she and how little she cares about money. She got pulled over by the cops and got a ticket (after flirting with the cop and trying to get out of it) and then didn't tell my brother about it. When the ticket came in the mail my brother found out that the ticket was for speeding and not having insurance. He had his insurance set up so that it was automatically taken out of his bank account each month, but The Bitch had at some point decided that they didn't need car insurance, canceled it and pocketed the money each month.
Even more stupid was when she convinced my brother that because the land lady had not fixed a light switch problem in their bathroom that they didn't have to pay rent until it was fixed. My parents later found out that the land lady had hired two different guys to fix it and after the repairs were made the problem came back, eventually The Bitch refused to let any more repairmen into the trailer to fix it and claimed the land lady was refusing to fix it. My brother and The Bitch got three months behind on the rent and were told they had a month to pay up or move out. My brother had run through all his savings paying for things for The Bitch and had no way of paying the back rent, so my parents kindly gave them the money to pay the rent and keep them in the trailer.
My brother married her less than six months after meeting her. He got mad at my parents when they told him he should wait a couple of years and marry her when he got to know her better. My brother tried to make it sound like a good idea when he claimed I had been engaged after just one month and look how well my husband and I were doing. My parents pointed out my husband and I had been engaged and lived together for three years before we got married.
When they married The Bitch wanted a big elaborate wedding, but she didn't want to pay for it. Her parents refused to pay for it as they wouldn't be able to attend (her father was very sick and her mother couldn't leave him to attend the wedding). So it fell to my parents to pay for the wedding, which they did, but she didn't get the dream wedding she wanted, and has bitched about it ever since. (My parents spent more on her wedding than they did mine, not that I care, I liked my wedding just the way it was). The Bitch planned the wedding in a church that required women to wear skirts or dresses to be allowed in and then set the wedding date for a Tuesday at 4pm, (my mother works till 3pm and had to go straight to the church after work). My mom didn't know that she would be required to wear a skirt or dress and the pastor of the church tried to refuse her entry (my mom hates The Bitch as much as I do so she was just gonna go home and say screw the entire thing), my dad told my brother, The Bitch, and the pastor if they didn't allow mom to come in he wouldn't either and wouldn't pay for the rental of the church. The pastor didn't want to lose the money so he made an exception for the women to be allowed to wear pants to the wedding. After the wedding was all over and done with The Bitch posted photos online (almost all of them were of her) and somehow every photo that my mother had been in was "accidently deleted" off the camera. My mom hated The Bitch even more after that. I had refused to attend the wedding. My dad told me I needed to go to support my brother to which I replied: "I'm not marrying that bitch I don't have to do anything" (my mom supported me and later told me she wished she didn't have to attend).
I haven't talked to The Bitch in over a year, the last time I had anything to do with her was at Christmas. My dad told me I had to buy her something for Christmas and try and accept her into the family (never gonna happen dad!). I racked my brain trying to think of something that she wouldn't be able to return for money and would be completely useless to her. I finally came up with the perfect idea and donated money in her name to a homeless shelter (seeing as how she almost made my brother homeless with her stupidity). Needless to say she was not happy with my gift. She was even more pissed when I bought the kid a rocking horse at a yard sale and hand painted it (she wouldn't be able to return it for money either), and I gave my brother a set of playing cards with naked ladies on them (which he refused to give up, lol).
Last year she told my parents she needed their social security numbers for the food stamps they were receiving. When my parents called and asked me why she would need them I told them when we had food stamps (just the year before) the only social security numbers we needed were just the people who lived in the household. I sent a message to my brother asking him why the food stamp office need the numbers and told him what I knew about the food stamp process. Turns out The Bitch was spying on his messages and started a fight with me claiming I was trying to take food out of her mouth and trying to turn my parents against her. I told her I was just trying to figure out why the food stamp office needed something that they had never needed when my husband and I had applied. She said it was none of my business and started rant to me about how I had been trying to get the family to hate her and how I was coming in between her and my brother. I informed her that I did in fact hate her, so did my parents, and I had no influence over my parents thoughts of her, if my brother was resenting her and disapproving of her actions then that was is own thoughts of her and I had no say in what my brother did with his life. She asked if my parents hated her so much why did they allow my brother to marry her. I told her my parents have no control over my brothers actions as he is a grown adult and that my parents had told my brother on several different occasions not to marry her. This set her off on a tirade of epic proportions of how I was ruining her life, at this point I was fed up with her and told her I no longer wanted anything to do with her and blocked her on all my email and social media accounts. She apparently decided to call my father and proceed to tell him how I was threatening to call the police and have her arrested and I was going to call the government and report her for food stamp fraud. My dad called me and chewed me out for my alleged transgressions without hearing my side of the story, I even told him I would show him the conversation The Bitch and I had to prove that I never said any of those things, but he was adamant I leave her alone and not to do any of the things she claimed I was going to do. I stopped talking to my dad after that, I was his daughter and he wouldn't even listen to my side of the story or look at any of the proof I had that proved her wrong. Turns out The Bitch was trying to get my parents social security numbers for credit cards she was trying to apply for (my brother had found several filled out credit card forms in my parents names and confronted her about them, she of course proceeded to cry and act like she was the victim, insert eye roll here).
Now my brother has put up with a lot from The Bitch over the course of their relationship and I really thought he would leave her when she started cheating on him. She wasn't even sneaky about her cheating. She invited a guy over to their trailer and he stayed there for over a week (he was there 24/7). She told my brother he was a brother of one of her friends and he was helping her clean the trailer (red flag one: The Bitch has never cleaned that trailer, it looks like a hoarder lives there; red fag two: my brother had never met or heard of the "friend" this guy was the brother of). The guy stayed there and the trailer never got cleaner, the kid was neglected (my brother would come home and the kid would have a full diaper, be covered in filth, and had not fed all day ), the guy ate all their food, and played/erased my brothers games, and eventually destroyed or stole some of my brothers games and collectibles. My brother finally had it with the guy threw him out and threatened him not to come back. The guy who had no way of getting home and decided to crash on a neighbors porch and then proceed to sleep with the neighbors sixteen year old daughter. The mother of the sixteen year old found out about him sleeping with her and called the cops, the sixteen year old didn't know the guys name and told the cops that she was sure the guy was The Biches husband (i.e. my brother). The cops went to my brothers trailer and began to arrest my brother for statutory rape thinking he was the guy they were looking for, well my brother had been working at the time of the incident and could prove it, but the cops still had to take him in until they checked out his alibi. The Bitch meanwhile said nothing about the other guy (red flag number three!). My brother was taken in and questioned and the cops finally figured out who the guy was and arrested him after threatening to arrest The Bitch for hindering a police investigation she finally gave up the guys name and address.
This all happened a little less than a month after they got married.
A few months later the guy was out of jail on bond and right back at their trailer. My brother threw him out a second time (my father was at the trailer vising when the guy showed up) and my father told the guy to get in the car and he would take him wherever he wanted to go (in actuality my father was planning to drive him several miles away and just drop his butt on the side of the road and leave the guy to find his own way home). The guy refused to leave at which point cops were called, the guy was told to leave or be arrested, and The Bitch took the guy home.
You would think that would be enough for my brother to realize he needed to remove The Bitch from his life, but nope, my brother continued on with her. He's an idiot.
About two months before their one year wedding anniversary The Bitch called my brother at work and told him he need to come home the baby was sick. So my brother comes home (its a ten minute drive from his work to his trailer) and finds The Bitch has left the baby completely alone at the trailer. Turns out she had met a guy online from a city an hour away and he had come picked her up and ran off together. She stayed with the guy for a couple of weeks until the guy got tired of her and threw her out. The Bitch came back to the trailer and tried to get my brother to take her back. He refused and closed and locked the door in her face. She decided at this time to start screaming at the top of her lungs that my brother was beating her and trying to kill her, to which the neighbors called the cops. The cops show up and investigate, after talking to the neighbors they find out that no one witnessed her being abused or even seeing my brother out on the porch while she was screaming. The cops called EMS in to look her over and they found no signs that she had been abused, no bruising, no scrapes, no signs that she had fought back, and reported to the cops that they were no signs at all of abuse. Without any proof that there had been any abuse the cops told her to find somewhere else to go for the night. The Bitch threw a fit and told the cops she wanted my brother to leave the trailer so she could stay, the cops talked to my brother and was told about her running off with the other guy and abandoning the baby, then my brother showed them the lease that only had his name on it and told him he didn't want her here as he was planning on divorcing her. The cops had no choice at that point but to tell The Bitch to find another place to stay. The Bitch moved into a friends house for a couple of days until they threw her out (see a pattern here?) and then she moved in with an elderly lady to take care of her (the older lady also threw her out after a couple of weeks).
My brother really contemplated divorcing The Bitch (my parents and I encouraged him to and even told him we would pay for the divorce lawyer), but he had grown fond of the baby and knew that if The Bitch left he would never see the kid again. So he eventually took her back.
Now over the time I have known The Bitch she had been hot and cold towards me and it fluctuates according to if she wants to try and get something out of me or my parents. If she needs money for something I suddenly become her best friend, as soon as my parents give her the money I am her worst enemy. She once told my dad if she ever saw me again she was going to kick my ass (this was after she had cheated on my brother the first time and right after the food stamp incident). My father laughed in her face and told her not to even try it, that I would hand her her ass and no one would stop me. The next time I saw her I was her best friend again and she tried to tell me it was all a joke. I told her to fuck off.
In the days I spent typing this blog post something occured that made a big change in my brothers, The Bitches, and the kids lives that is still ongoing and might not be resolved for a while. Someone called the social worker and reported that The Bitch was on drugs (whether or not this is true still has yet to be discovered). When the social worker went to the trailer to do a follow up on the report they discovered the extent of the mess the trailer was in. The kid was take away and to a health clinic to be check out. The doctor reported to the social worker that the kid was covered in fleas and his own filth. The social worker then called in the health department to check the state of the trailer and took the kid with her to court where all the findings would be reported to a judge. The worker for the health department reported to the judge that the trailer was filled with trash, dirty clothing, dirty dishes, cat poop and urine (even though they had gotten rid of their cats several months earlier), it was crawling with cockroaches and fleas, and there had been signs of mice and bedbugs, the fridge did not work, and there was spoiled food still sitting in the fridge and on the counters. The judge put the kid into foster care (The Bitches family lived in another state and couldn't take him, my parents couldn't take him for health reasons, and I was told that when my brother suggested my husband and I take the kid The Bitch screamed that she would not allow that meddling bitch take her kid, so the judge never called to see if I would take the kid).
The next day my brother and The Bitch reported back to court at which time the judge told them they had to clean the trailer, get the landlady to make any necessary repairs and replace anything that wasn't working, and have the trailer fumigated before he would even consider letting them have the kid back, he gave them a month to do this in, in the meantime they could see the kid during supervised visits twice a week for one hour with a social worker. They were called back to court later that day and were informed that the judge knew about The Bitches other two kids and wanted to know why she no longer had custody of them. The Bitch told the judge that she was too young when she had the two kids to raise them and gave custody to her sister to raise them. The judge called the sister (who had no idea any of this was going on) and she told him the first kid The Bitch did have when she was sixteen and too young to raise, the second child she had when she was twenty and just refused to take care of the baby so the sister begged The Bitch to sign custody of the child over to her. When the judge called The Bitches mother (who had no idea about the state of the trailer or that any of this was going on with the court) and asked the same question she gave the same answer as the daughter who now had the kids. At this point the judge informed The Bitch that he knew she had lied to him, to which The Bitch started yelling at him and calling him a liar. My brother got her calmed down and the judge proceeded with his questioning. He asked who the primary wage earner was (my brother, who worked six days a week for twelve hours a day and was only home to sleep and eat), and who stayed to take care of the trailer and the kid (The Bitch). The judge informed them that for them to have lived in such filth for so long that they both had to have a mental illness, but because my brother was practically never home the judge would give him the benefit of the doubt, but The Bitch needed to go for a mental evaluation, she threw yet another fit saying she wasn't crazy. The judge informed her that if that were true then she neglected the child and the trailer on purpose and he would not even consider giving the child back. She angrily agreed "just to prove the dumbass judge wrong". So she is now in a psychiatric hold for the next couple of days in a hospital half an hour away.
I talked to my brother yesterday and told him to call a lawyer and start adoption proceeding for the child and divorce proceedings for The Bitch because regardless of the outcome of the mental evaluation the judge was going to be highly unlikely to hand the kid back over to The Bitch. He needed to find a child care place that could take care of the kid while he was at work and talk with the social worker about what he could do to improve life for the kid. If he was by himself and did everything the judge told him to do and proved to the court he was serious about getting the kid back and doing what was best for the kid that the judge might see my brother in a positive light and let him adopt the kid and raise him on his own. But that it all started with getting rid of The Bitch. None of this would have happened if he had just divorced The Bitch when she ran off with and cheated with that guy. But my brother doesn't want to hear what I have to say, so he ignores my advice and doesn't work towards a long term solution, he just does what they tell him to do until someone gives him a new instruction to follow.
My mother and father are furious with my brother and The Bitch for letting it all get this bad. And as much as my parents claim they want nothing to do with either of them anymore they still are giving me daily updates on what's going on with the court and how they are trying to find ways to help my brother. My parents both got attached to the kid and are heartbroken that they can't see him anymore and may never see him again. I warned them that The Bitch could walk out of my brothers life with the child or that something like this would happen and the child would be taken away and that they shouldn't get attached, but my parents saw it as their only opportunity to have a grandchild (my husband and I neither one want kids, so my parents knew they would never get any out of me).
I wish this didn't have to happen to the kid, but in reality it is what is best for the kid, he needed to be taken away from The Bitch who was not helping him develop mentally and was alienating anyone who tried to help them. The kid needed to get out of the trailer that had become a hoarders paradise and a health hazard to anyone who lived in it.
Hopefully my brother will finally see the light and do the right thing and get rid of The Bitch and start a new life for himself and hopefully the kid.
