You know how parents always say they don't have a favorite child, but it's obvious to everyone that they do? Well with my parents it is my brother. They claim they don't have a favorite, however everyone in the family but them, my brother, and The Bitch will tell you my brother is clearly my parents favorite.
I used to think when I was younger it was true that my parents didn't have a favorite, but as I got older it became clear as day who got all the attention lavished on them.
Don't believe me? Here are several reasons why it's obvious my brother is the favorite:
Let us start with the story of how my parents became parents. My mom and dad always tell the story of finding out my mom was pregnant with my brother after several years of trying to have a child and eventually just giving up, only for my mom to become sick with what she thought was the flu. Turned out the flu was my brother. Mom and dad were so happy they were going to have a baby (they had thought they were never going to have kids), he was their miracle child! Mom and dad were happy and two years later mom thought she was sick again and found out she was pregnant again, this time with me, they weren't trying to have another kid, but a doctor told them my brother would more than likely be their only kid due to medical reasons, so my parents just accepted the fact and didn't actively try to not have another child. When my mom found out she was pregnant with me they were delighted, but I was no miracle, just a happy unexpected accident (that is literally how they described it).
As my brother and I grew up my parents would punish us in creative ways. Looking back on things now my parents punished my brother and I differently. For example when my brother hit me in the face with a metal baseball bat and gave me a black eye my parents took the baseball bat away from my brother and grounded him to his bedroom for the rest of the day. When I bit my brother because he had broken my favorite toy I was grounded for a week and my allowance for that week was given to my brother as compensation for biting him (my parents never did anything about him breaking my toy). When my brother shot me with a bb gun, it was taken away and he couldn't see his friend (who was with my brother when he shot me) for three days. When I hit my brother with a plastic batond out of anger I was grounded for three days and while I was grounded I had to do anything my brother asked (clean his room, fix him food, fetch him stuff, we were young and he wasn't very creative). If we didn't clean our bedrooms my parents would get a big trash bag and tell us we had an hour to clean, whatever was still on the floor after that our went in the bag and into the trash, we didn't believe them of course, but after an hour my parents came to my room, threw stuff in the trash bag and put it out in the trash. My brother however was warned they would do the same to him if he didn't clean it up after an extra half an hour, he of course picked his stuff up because he had just been them throw my stuff away and knew they weren't bluffing (my stuff went out in the trash, his stayed safe in his bedroom).
Christmas was always a big deal in our house. For the first several years of our lives our dad worked a below minimum wage job and our mom stayed home, when mom went to work and dad stayed home my mom got paid minimum wage. So for several years my parents struggled to buy gifts for us at christmas. Some years they would make gifts for us (my dad is great at making things, and my mom can paint beautifully). One year my dad made us toys from wood and my mom painted them. Dad made airplanes, cars, tanks, boats, tractors, a firetruck, all things my brother loved. All I wanted was a castle to use with my barbies, nothing big just a small castle. Did dad make it? Nope. Did he have the skills to? Yes. But because my brother didn't want a castle he wanted cars and airplanes that's what my dad made. I played with the toys, but I was sad that I didn't get my castle. Years later my brother wanted a N64 (fairly new and very pricy at the time), my parents bought it for him without hesitation. What did I want that year? A barbie that came with a horse (not even half the cost of my brothers game system). What did I get? A couple knock off versions of a barbie and some coloring books and cheap crayons (we got other things, but that was our main gifts). When my brother was a teenager he wanted a bike for christmas, I didn't want a bike as I had no interest in learning to ride one, but that year my parents bought us both bikes and then became upset with me when I didn't learn to ride it. They eventually gave my bike to a friend of the family for their little girl. The year my brother got a playstation I asked for a tv for my bedroom, he got his brand new playstation, I got a used tv from my parents room (my mom had won a new tv in a give away at work which they put in their room).
What about something as simple as painting a bedroom? My brother always wanted an orange bedroom so that is the color he got. I wanted a blue bedroom (my favorite color) I got a pink room, because girls are supposed to like pink. When they painted bedrooms the next time my brother got another darker orange for his bedroom (he got to choose the specific color orange). I again asked for blue. My parents had painted our dining room blue and decided to dump a gallon of white paint into the blue they used for the dining room and use it to paint mine, I was given no choice in the color blue selected, it was either use what they had or it stayed pink, I chose to paint it the blue I was given.
Surly my parents would be fair about giving us a car when we turned 16? Nope. My brother was given my parents old car when they got a newer one and taught to drive it as soon as he got his permit (which he failed to get the first time he took the test, also my parents paid for his permit). When I turned 16 I got my permit (on my first try, and had to pay for it myself) and was told I would just have to use my parents car when I was learning to drive. Later my brother wrecked the car not a week into college and they gave him another one. When he eventually wrecked that one they helped him finance his third car. Meanwhile I am now in my thirties and may parents have never offered to buy me a car or even help finance a car. It really doesn't matter now as I have seizures from my diabetes and can't drive, but when my husband and I picked out a car the last time we had to finance it all on our own, my parents never offered to help.
Moving out? My parents helped my husband and I pay the first months rent and the deposit on our apartment when we moved, but the stipulation was we had to pay them a certain amount each week until we paid it back. So we did, we paid it back week by week, my parents called every week to make sure we were going to be able to pay them. When my brother moved into his trailer same stipulation he had to pay them back. What does my parents complain about every time I see them anymore? How my brother never pays them back for anything even though they keep giving him more money and how he still has yet to pay them back for that first months rent and deposit.
What happened when I won a bike at school for perfect attendance for one year? The school told my parents they would give them the money the bike was worth as I had told them I couldn't ride a bike. My parents told the school they would take the bike and then when they brought it home they gave it to my brother. I got no compensation for the the bike. I was told to suck it up when I complained about it.
How about helping to pay for my wedding? Well my husband and I paid for the rental of a room in our local library (I'm a big book nerd), we paid for table cloths, decorations, part of the food, I made a sugar free cake, and we set up/decorated the room ourselves. What did my parents pay for? They bought some small table decorations at a yard sale, they bought a simple sheet cake from walmart, and my mom made my wedding dress (my dress was nothing fancy, it was dark blue with silver stars on it, a short dress with a halter top, from a mccalls pattern and fabric found at walmart). The rest of my family helped by bringing food dishes in a pot luck style buffet. What did my parents pay for at my brothers wedding? The food, the decorations, the rental of the church, the fancy wedding cake, the pretty candles on each table, everything. The only thing they didn't pay for was the wedding dress, but The Bitch bought a dress that was too big so my mom had to sew it to fit her.
How about extra curricular activities at school? My brother took karate (which my parents paid for the lessons for a year before my brother gave it up), he was in leo club which my parents paid the membership fees for and for any trips he had to go on for them, when he joined band they bought him his own saxophone (which he played for one semester and then decided he didn't want to play anymore), and quiz bowl club which my parents brought snacks to and drove my brother to every meet. When he joined this thing called upward bound (which was basically pre college at an actual college during the summer) my parents bought him everything he needed for the dorm he was living in and gave him money to spend on whatever he wanted while he was there. When I joined 4H I had to pay my dues, pay for the jacket, and any field trips myself. Astronomy, Beta Club, FFA, Leo club, everything had to be paid for by me (all of these clubs I was in for all four years of highschool). When I joined band for a year (before I found out I have no musical talent) I had to use one of the schools trumpets.
Off to college? My parents paid for everything my brother needed and put money in his bank account every week to help pay for groceries or anything he might need. When I went to college I paid for anything I need for my dorm room or had to borrow items from family members. Anything I had to pay for came out of money I had earned at odd jobs during high school. My parents would show up once every two weeks and take me shopping for groceries, but would only give me a budget of $50, anything over that had to come out of my pocket.
What about paying for college? My brother and I both went to college for one year at a state college. My brother flunked out after a year and I stayed for a year before finding out the college had discontinued the degree I was going for and decided it wasn't worth it. My brother and I both had college loans and when we dropped/flunked out of college we had to pay them back. My brother felt he shouldn't have to pay his back (no idea why) and refused to pay the college loan people and ended up in trouble, eventually they started docking his wages and took his tax refund, eventually my parents finally paid off his college loan. I paid my college loan while I was working and when I wasn't I put in to defer it for a year. Eventually I went back to college and got a degree. Now I pay back the loan every month like I'm supposed to and probably will for years, my parents have never offered to help.
It is fairly clear that I have never been nor never will be my parents favorite no matter what I do.
